]
\'Saturday 7 am.
\'Saturday 7 am.
I’m sitting alone on a skate ramp in the back of the heaven house watching the dew and mist enveloping the green valley below.
I just smoked DMT.
At first I hit it and Jordan told me to hold it in so I did, and then I hit it again and at that I fell the fuck back….
In the beginning I saw all these little rows of shapes outlined in white coming at me against a purplish primarily pink backdrop; triangles, circles, stick like thing’s, too many to process. I fell on the bed,
Camille was holding my hand, I can’t think of a time when I’ve had so little control over the content in my brain, I was a foreigner to mental formations which have always been mine to mold and interpret, I loved it. It was invigorating, like fireworks from the absolute had filled my brain, as the current took me down hard, my body was light and tingled with love. I felt the energy streaming from my fingertips and
connecting with the world around me.
Camille was holding my hand, I can’t think of a time when I’ve had so little control over the content in my brain, I was a foreigner to mental formations which have always been mine to mold and interpret, I loved it. It was invigorating, like fireworks from the absolute had filled my brain, as the current took me down hard, my body was light and tingled with love. I felt the energy streaming from my fingertips and
connecting with the world around me.
I lied there and giggled as I saw a clear white circular space in the focal point of my vision, on the outskirts of my peripheral it blurred in grays and blues and white in an almost holographic quicksand. I felt myself vacillating between this world and that. At one point my body was permeated with the knowledge that the world is perfect and free and that all this speculative talk, undermining conversation, these verbal expressions of judgment and ego, these are all interferences. They are unnecessary additions. This place, these people, it is all already perfect. I feel connected in a way I’ve never felt before.
When I came to, I laid there for a while holding Camille’s hand, Manny behind me on the bed, and Anya on the floor. I was aware of the friends around me, but for the next several minutes I was enthralled in an almost giddy state of trance as I laid there staring at the vibrating grids that extended out of my body. When my surroundings were still the grids appeared to have a laser green tint, but in the wake of any movement I, or anyone else made, the grids melted in streams of color along with our bodies.
I can’t describe the weightless purity and connected love I experienced. It was beautiful the way the smile over took my face as I giggled at the beauty of the human body and its relationship to this cylindrical energy sphere that we are fully involved in as it orbits the sun. It made me think about the love I want to cultivate in my life, the non-judgmental gratitude based experience. We are all one, but also simultaneously free agents, we interact with each other's energy currents and create new ones, but in the end we are transiting along an infinity of ever shifting grids individually. The need for control is toxic. Everything is perfect.
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. Oh wow. Thank you.
Theologue: The union of human consciousness
Alex Grey 1984
Rene Descartes illustration of the co-ordination of the senses
1664
2 comments:
You described this so beautifully - often people aren't able to find the words to tell stories like these, but you did! thanks for sharing!
You're the first person I've read who has legitimately attempted to explain DMT. Usually people just say, "IT FELT LIKE I WAS DYING," which is true, but also a poor way of translating the experience.
Good on you!
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