Miss Leigh, I think it'd be wise to take a breath in the waiting room...

one of these days very soon I’m going to be able to just go 
to shows all the time and write about them and just do what 
I want and IT IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

Rad.
Totally cool.
Fucking Dope.

I can taste it.
Oh My God, so SOON.

Ugh right now though,
within the pressure of this breath
overestimation motivation
the weight is adding stress

recollect
I’m pulling the covers over my head
I have to hold back
& finish what I start
mold these pieces steady 
otherwise I’ll crack
________________________________
Fugazi just happened to be playing as I was writing, and so I looked up the lyrics and found them rather Ironic— Only I’m not in the “Waiting Room”, I need to be— I just need to remember to be patient and enjoy things so I don’t forget how to BE HAPPY always in the place that I am ________*) I don’t want to do things 1/2assed and wait for tomorrow to feel more manageable, I can take my time I forgot that it’s me who chooses the pace of breath…..
_______________________________________________

I am a patient boy
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait
My time is water down a drain

Everybody’s moving
Everybody’s moving
Everything is moving,
Moving, moving, moving

Please don’t leave me to remain
In the waiting room

I don’t want the news
(I cannot use it)
I don’t want the news
(I won’t live by it)

Sitting outside of town
Everybody’s always down
(Tell me why)

Because they can’t get up
(Ahhh… Come on and get up)
(Come on and get up)

But I won’t sit idly by
(Ahhh…)
I’m planning a big surprise
I’m gonna fight
For what I want to be

And I won’t make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
Inside the waiting room

I don’t want the news
(I cannot use it)
I don’t want the news
(I won’t live by it)

Sitting outside of town
Everybody’s always down
(Tell me why)

Because they can’t get up
(Ahhh… Come on and get up)
Up from the waiting room

Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh…)
Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh…)
Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh…)
Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh…)
(Tell me why)
Because they can’t get up

my new dream space.

sometimes I wake up after smoking ganja and discover a newly formed rock shrine, these are good days.

my definition of synchronicity

synchronocity is when you find yourself in a situation which may appear to be coincidental or materialized at random-- so situation/event (A) occurs, it comes into question as to whether it is random or synchronistic if a completely separate following occurrence/event so event (B) (generally an event that changes or alters your path or leads you to something you want, even if you don't recognize it at the time) is dependent on the seemingly random preceding event, in turn (A) gained importance because of its necessary existence in order for event (B) to occur; however you never consciously did anything to create/engage in (A) and therefore could not have known it would lead you to (B)....

"Honour thy error as a hidden intention"

My friend posted this interesting site where you hit a button and it gives you a random card with a saying on it-- these two artist/musicians compiled these and put them onto cards and called them "Oblique Strategies"-- in short the artists, in times of pressure, found these little messages were helpful to them in completing their works in a 'Tangential' manner as Eno puts it in the interview below..

http://music.hyperreal.org/artists/brian_eno/oblique/oblique.html


INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN ENO ON THE OBLIQUE STRATEGIES


"These cards evolved from our separate working procedures. It was one of the many cases during the friendship that he [Peter Schmidt] and I where we arrived at a working position at almost exactly the same time and almost in exactly the same words. There were times when we hadn't seen each other for a few months at a time sometimes, and upon re-meeting or exchanging letters, we would find that we were in the same intellectual position - which was quite different from the one we'd been in prior to that.

The Oblique Strategies evolved from me being in a number of working situations when the panic of the situation - particularly in studios - tended to make me quickly forget that there were others ways of working and that there were tangential ways of attacking problems that were in many senses more interesting than the direct head-on approach. If you're in a panic, you tend to take the head-on approach because it seems to be the one that's going to yield the best results Of course, that often isn't the case - it's just the most obvious and - apparently - reliable method. The function of the Oblique Strategies was, initially, to serve as a series of prompts which said, "Don't forget that you could adopt *this* attitude," or "Don't forget you could adopt *that* attitude."

The first Oblique Strategy said "Honour thy error as a hidden intention." And, in fact, Peter's first Oblique Strategy - done quite independently and before either of us had become conscious that the other was doing that - was ...I think it was "Was it really a mistake?" which was, of course, much the same kind of message. Well, I collected about fifteen or twenty of these and then I put them onto cards. At the same time, Peter had been keeping a little book of messages to himself as regards painting, and he'd kept those in a notebook. We were both very surprised to find the other not only using a similar system but also many of the messages being absolutely overlapping, you know...there was a complete correspondence between the messages. So subsequently we decided to try to work out a way of making that available to other people, which we did; we published them as a pack of cards, and they're now used by quite a lot of different people, I think.

-Brian Eno, interview with Charles Amirkhanian, KPFA-FM Berkeley, 2/1/80

Energy Vampire

"Darkness consists of anything that is of a lower/heavier vibration such as anger, fear, depression, jealousy, hatred etc."                   

I just read an article on this new age spirituality website that has information on anything from the ways of the Veda's to healing through crystals and self help. The writer, Lisa Whatley, speaks rather urgently about the case of the "Psychic Vampire" also known as an "Energy Vampire". She begins with "Energy stealers are everywhere! They are your family members, your friends and they are your co-workers and YOU may even be one yourself."

It seems her mission in this piece to rescue the reader from continuing on ignorant to these "cords" that we develop, often subconsciously, to outside things, people, places. "... A psychic vampire is a person that steals other people’s energies because they are living their life in victim consciousness and believe that everything happens ’to’ them. Living in this manner is very dis-empowering. Therefore  in order for them to feel better about themselves they need to attach themselves to another person’s energy field. In order for this ‘vampire’ to attach themselves to your energy body, they form cords attaching the two of you together. When they need a boost, they unconsciously steal your energy instead of using their own..."                

I'm writing this because her article made me realize I have accumulated several attachments. When I moved back from New York at the end of December 2010, my body felt lighter.. Ironically I weighed 20 pounds more! I had nothing but a suitcase for 6 months, that's the most free I've felt up to date.

Whatley gives advice on how to clear the negative energy attachments. What made me realize I've become rooted here with "stuff" is when she says to burn all things with negative energy. All of my old journals are stacked up. Until a year ago, with the exception of a few short-lived waves of optimism, the content is negative overall. It's honest, and I think the darkness can be beautiful, but looking back I don't want to carry it with me..... so do I burn 'em? I'd like to publish them first....like a before glimpse at my polar opposite mind, the shadow before I realized I LOVE MY LIFE. It's funny, sometimes when I'm driving these days I'll catch myself repeating happily in my mind " I love my life" sometimes "Thank you..."                                                                                                                                     

                           Confession: I think it's possible that before my accident I MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ENERGY VAMPIRE :( My mind wasn't saying "I love my life," it was saying things closer to I need this or that, yuck, thank you I'm so happy to be free of that....

                                                                                                                                             P. Leigh

here's a link to the article

http://www.new-age-spirituality.com/selfhelp/psyattack.html

my truth about liars.

I THINK-- my biggest problem with dishonesty is that it inadvertently, and quite fatally, blares that the dishonest accused in question fails to give a shit about the value of my reality; it says that my truth and my ability to make future decisions is theirs to mold..That's fucking manipulative right?

Check out my Etsy account :)

          http://www.etsy.com/listing/75962332/your-personal-natal-chart-with-light?ref=pr_shop

the way of the future. is the way of today,

scooters-- surprisingly rad

I bought a scooter last week. I rode it home today. I giggled my fckin face off the whole way home, I had no idea I was going to be so stoked on this.... I wonder how long this excitement is going to last me before I have to buckle down and buy a motorcycle.

I write to keep the thoughts from staying too long in my brain, keep the chisel chiseling, nobody wants a stale occipital cortex....

It's crazy to see someone get defensive where they think they're protecting themselves but all they're doing is blocking out love by acting indifferent.... And the crazy thing is it's so fucking familiar... Haha connecting other peolples dots is a trip..